We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
