whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
