it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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