They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
