What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
