I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
