if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Houston, we have a squirter
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
