did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
