How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
