you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
