That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
