Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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