Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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