you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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