He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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