Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
