You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
