Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
