They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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