Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
