Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just found a bag of teeth...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
There's even glitter on my cock...
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