i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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