If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
