you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
