and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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