you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
