Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
