I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
