Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
