My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
