so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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