she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
