I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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