he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
