Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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