Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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