Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
