Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
