did you get engaged???
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
