Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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