I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I didn't notice because vodka
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
