Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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