I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
