so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize
