ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
