I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
