yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
