I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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