If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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