he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
