I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
As shirtless as possible
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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